Christmas catch up.

Oops.


Sorry. I see it has been three weeks since I last put hand to keyboard and bored you with my tales. The website seems to have stalled temporarily too. New years resolution..rocket up my own arse I think.


The build up to the day..


The build up to Christmas was fairly uneventful this year with the extra spare time I have nowadays. Fruit and veg and most of the gift shopping done online leaving plenty of time to plan Christmas day for 10 and Boxing day for 16.


Interspersed with the Christmas planning we  also liaise with builders who start work in January converting half the garage into mums swanky new en-suite. 


Mum gradually gets more and more excited on the build up to Christmas day and the arrival of elder sis Julia with Ian and the boys. Sarahs 3 arrive at various times leading up to the day and the house starts to feel cosy and seasonal as the decorations, trees and lights go up inside. Luckily no more climbing involved for me.


The big day..


Lie in till nine then up for pressies...Mum very excited to have a stocking all to herself. In pre Dementia years it was so difficult to buy gifts for mum as by her admission she already had two of everything she needed, so this year we went to town with a stocking full of bits and bobs. She loved it. A good hour of unwrapping bath bombs, gloves, scarves etc. Tears, smiles and laughs all rolled together, brilliant.


Cooked breakfast, then start the prep for dinner to be served at 6 pm.
Mum kept out of trouble for another two hours peeling sprouts and chestnuts, just finished as Julia and Family arrive for even more pressies.


Dinner a raging success, Pheasant in a duck in a turkey with all the trimmings, followed by Christmas pud and an assortment of cakes. Then the cheese board with some vintage port.


All in all a great day was had by all. I think.


Boxing day...


Today heralds the arrival of younger sis Fabia with Mark. Also we have a visit from my Godfather Lloyd with his wife Kay visiting from France. We hope to negotiate a stay in the summer so mum is instructed to be on her best behaviour. Lloyd and Kay bring along daughter Polly and her antipodean partner Matt.


Huge buffet out on the table, left over three bird, home cooked ham etc. another great day. A few tears again from mum, joy not sadness which is always good.


Far too much food, far too much wine, all in all a great family Christmas. Mum enjoyed all of it and seems to remember a lot of it too.








In other matters, I was approached by Elinor O'Neill the reporter who wrote about my blog in the local paper to make a guest appearance on her blog where she describes her struggle with bipolar. You can have a read here.

Words

Words


Never take them for granted. We spend a lot of our time in conversations. Spoken, written, typed even signed. They are all words.


Dementia takes the conversations  away. Sometimes it leaves all the words but no ability to string them together. Sometimes, as is the case with Mum, the words disappear first, leaving the conversations locked inside with no means of expression. This quite often results in bouts of frustration, maybe even anger when she wants to tell or ask something.


Today has been one of those days. Mum was out in the morning with  the respite carer,  visited a garden centre looking at decorations. She is always in a good mood after a morning with Donna, as am I after a morning "off"


Quick visit to see the lovely gentleman for coffee then home. Mum disappeared upstairs for a while, probably to top up the nut mountain while I started to prepare tea. 


We then had a good two or three hours of  Mum trying to tell or ask me something. We just cannot get to the bottom of it. We tried all the usual methods to no avail.


It could be something as simple as her wanting to visit somewhere or something as complex as a desire to learn astro-physics, there is no way to tell. 


Sarah in from work and she can shed no light either. In the end we had to switch to the diversion tactics of food and me acting the fool. This does have a relatively good success rate and worked like a charm this time.


It seems that if Mum manages to convey her thoughts straight away there is no problem, but as soon as she stops or struggles the thread is lost, mostly never to return. I think I will try to bring this up with her tomorrow as it did seem to be something important.


An example from this week,

• "Its red I cant see it"
• What is it mum?
• "Its red, it was in the thing"
• What was it in mum?
• "Its red, you know..."
• Repeat ad infinitum

Anyway she is watching that funny man with the hat (Fred Dibnah) on the telly happy as Larry, so Sarah and I can settle down with a glass and a bit of radio

Tree climbing hippy

CHRISTMAS IS COMING




So that's why I am up a tree.
















At some point last week Mum decided we should have lights in the tree in the front garden. Being the good son and accomplished tree climbing electrician that I am I decided if I kept very quiet for a day or two the idea would go away. As luck would have it of course, although mum struggles to remember what day it is the lights just wouldn't be forgotten.


Google, "exterior led xmas lights", checkout and they are on their way. Arrive Tuesday but even an accomplished acrobat like myself shouldn't climb in gale force winds and torrential rain so another days respite.


Wednesday use the cunning "shall we go somewhere nice for lunch" ploy, followed by "shall we have a nice drive out to Medbourne" on the way back. Very enjoyable day but on our return "what about my lights"


Today, no wind, no cloud not even any sign of impending rapture so I cant put it off any longer. I'm meant to be a tree hugger not a tree climber but out come the ladders and here we go. Three hours of balancing and swearing, six sets of lights and  smelling slightly of pine sweat and fear I am done. Luckily Mum stayed very close to the ladder in case of emergencies, although not too sure what her plan was to rescue an overweight hippy plumetting to earth from a great height I felt strangely reassured.


All finished just as dusk approaches so we stand back and hit the on button. Hard to tell what shone the brightest, the lights or Mums smile as she saw them.


As I pack the ladders and bits and bobs away Mum stands on the corner pointing to the lights, waving to cars pedestrians pigeons and anything else that takes her fancy "look......look...... lights" lovely.


Sarah in from work at seven with fish and chips with curry sauce, Mum staring through the window at the lights, no mention of the weekend away and 1985 on radio 2....all in all a great day.