What do you remember?

Hello.

Long time no blog.

To bring you all up to date, mum is now in a nursing home after a stay in hospital. I have had a bit of a breakdown and am receiving counselling and drugs for depression. I think "recovering from caring" will be my next blog. Details to follow.

Here is something my sister wrote ages ago, I have been meaning to share it for so so long but every time I read it I cry. It is quite possibly one of the loveliest things I have ever read.

What do you remember?

I had a dream last night. Me and mum were whizzing about in the car. We picnicked in a field. I could smell the grass and the sunshine and the summer. My old dog was there. He’s been dead for a while. Mum and me chatted laughed and joked. Mum’s not been  able to chat or laugh or joke for a while. It was a one of the loveliest dreams I've ever had but when I tell people I cry.

I've been thinking about dreams and memories. Before mum went into hospital we would have an adventure every Tuesday. We re-discovered the freedom that swimming brings. We delighted in tea-rooms and magical walled gardens in stately homes. We sat at a favourite spot and marvelled at how high hills were, how slow cows were, how green and wonderful was the view. We were silly, we sang and danced and filled our hearts with music.

I thought I was making memories for mum. Everyone tells you to keep memories alive, to help the dementia sufferer to find their happy place. Now I know I was making memories for me too. These are the times I will remember. I will remember the disease as it is now, but I will remember my mum as she was then.