A Problem

A Problem.

We seem to have a problem. Its in Mums new house, in the vicinity of the window. Its mainly first thing in the morning and last thing at night. We are struggling  to ascertain the exact nature of the problem.

It usually starts with Mum beckoning me either into her room or out of the front door. This will be followed by a lot of pointing and gesturing. Something around the window has met with her disapproval. This morning it started in the room at 10.00. We broke down the constituent parts...

• Do you like the window?      
• Yes
• Do you like the nets?             
• Yes
• Do you like the blind?           
• Yes
• Do you like the windowsill? 
•  Yes
• Do you like the view?            
• Yes
• So is everything ok?                
• No

Round and round and round we go. 

Can you tell me what the problem is Mum? Its....Ten.....its.....here......its........

Points and waves at the window.

Goes outside and points and waves more. 

After the best part of two hours of this I am crushed. 

Luckily we agree on a truce and adjourn for tea and toast.

As I write this I am preparing for this evenings bout.

Dementia causes a lot of crossed wires and short circuits. A sufferer will not see, hear, say or comprehend things in the same way as us. The problem that is manifesting itself to mum may not even exist in the "real" world. Maybe we will get to the bottom of it or maybe just a case of grin and bear it.

Copy.

In other matters, attended a copywriting course hosted by The Copywriting Coach. An excellent course and I am ignoring everything I learnt on the day here. Sorry Gillian! The main reason for attending  the course was to get valuable pointers for assembling the vast amount of draft material I have for dementiacarer.com and hopefully start to publish some of it. A great course and lots of useful information taken on board.

Cool Dad and other matters.

Another little story: Cool Dad

Out for a quick hobble with hoppalong the other day. We were doing one of our regular short walks as the weather didn't look too promising. Walking down a long hill through the estate  I heard a strange rumbling sound approaching from behind accompanied by a very polite voice saying "excuse me" "coming through" and other such phrases.

On turning round I was greeted by the wonderful sight of a man, probably early thirties, nice pinstripe suit, beautifuly cut hair blowing in the breeze. He was astride a childs scooter and approaching at a right old lick. "Thankyou" he said as he bunny hopped off the kerb and hurtled down the middle of the road towards the crowd of kids leaving the school. 

As he approached the kerb he performed a perfect tailwhip onto the footpath, handed the scooter over to his daughter and they headed back up the hill. The smile on her face was heartwarming to see. 


If I had ever had kids I would have been a dad like that. Except I would have probably fallen off. And my hair wouldn't have been as nice.

In other Matters.

Sorry about the lack of posts.

No excuse.

No news is good news really. As mum has vascular dementia there is no telling how the disease will progress. Her condition could stay fairly stable for a while then suddenly dip, or maybe there could be a gradual decline. This is one of the problems faced by a dementia carer, there can never be an accurate prognosis, every day, month and even year has to be approached with a totally open outlook.

No two consecutive days will be alike. The condition can change at the drop of a hat. Nice Mum can be chased away by nasty Mum at any time. The secret is learning to  read the signs and having ready to roll out diversionary tactics for whenever the need arises.

Mum has been doing a lot of swimming  with Fabia and yoga with Sarah and really enjoying both. We are also finding music can be a wonderful distraction when she becomes too confused or agitated. Putting on a CD can carry her away for a couple of hours or more. The Rites of Spring being a particular favourite.

Now I am once again working on the website it would be great to have  input from others who are using music or art in dementia care. Both are being used to great success and its something that I have only recently started reading about. Please feel free to contact me via the comments below if  this is an area you could maybe spare a few words about.

 

When random acts of kindness go wrong.

Popped down to the shops the other day to get a few bits and bobs. Couldnt get into any of the free spaces, noticing the abundance of wardens I duly coughed up my 70p, put the sticker in the window and into Sainsburys I went.

20 minutes or so later I am back at the car. As I had paid for the minimum 2 hours parking I passed the ticket to the lovely little old lady who had parked next to me. 

Ooh your so kind she said putting the sticker in her window and wandering off to the shops.

I drove the short drive home with a warm glow because of my random act of kindness. 

Anyway, getting the bags out of the car I noticed a carpark sticker in the window. 

Oh dear

I had given her the wrong ticket.......

So if any of you know a lovely little old lady who is moaning about an aged hippy causing her to get a parking fine...

Tell her I'm sorry.

A little story and more.

A little story.

The other night on twitter I told a little story, a little something that happened on that day. I didn't really expect anyone to notice it but got quite a few nice responses. I'll tell it here too.


About eighteen months ago we had some wardrobes built by a local joiner, Scott, lovely bloke, Buddhist but that's not important. Our paths have crossed maybe once or twice since then and we always had a quick chat. Skip to this week, Mum was out for a little walk round the block, something we encourage, trying to promote as much independence as possible. I get a knock on the door, its Scott. He had seen Mum walking along on her own and knowing her condition drove up to make sure she hadn't wandered off. 


That's it really. Just nice to know there are still people looking out for others.

In other matters

Apologies for  the lack of blogs, but generally that's a good thing as it means there's not a lot happening. Mum seems to be taking longer and longer to get going in the morning, she says she is sleeping well in her "little house" maybe its just the progression of her dementia.

There is also still some confusion at night, she will sometimes go to bed only to reappear full dressed again an hour or so later. We tried getting her in a shower then into pyjamas after tea, then watch a little tv but that just seemed to confuse her more. We will leave her to her own devices for now, just gently persuade her back to bed when she appears.

It looks like the wardrobe doors can stay, no complaints about them for a week or so. That means the rooms are all done, Mum all settled in and feeling at home. Brilliant. 

She has given up on assembling the pistachio mound  and has taken instead to stockpiling crème fraiche in her room. Just have to pop in every now and then when she's not looking to check what's being hoarded next.

Hols.

Plans are now starting for this years caravan holiday. If you missed reading last years its worth going back to have a look, some interesting pics and stories. This year, all being well we are off to the south of France in September. Three days drive down, a week there and 3 days back so looking for interesting stop off points on the journey. Suggestions most welcome!

I've been playing around with "Instagram" on my phone, here's a couple of pics from it.

Flower Arranging

The finished article.