In need of a little rant.

Feel in need of a little rant.

Been out for tea tonight, very nice pub grub in the Cherry Tree to celebrate the fact that we all have new hair courtesy of a celebrity hairdresser.

On the way home mum points out one or two houses which sets me off thinking. The houses are the homes of people who were once Mums friends, a fact that starts to rankle a little as we walk home.

When I first moved down here to look after Mum she still had a fair old circle of friends and acquaintances in Harborough both socially and through the "U3A". Most of them seemed happy to involve Mum as a slightly eccentric or even dotty old lady, she was still definitely "in the circle", regular phone calls and invites etc.

Then came the diagnosis, and gradually the friends disappeared. First it was the official line from U3A, an organisation aimed essentially at the elderly, that Mum wasn't welcome on any more trips as she was "a liability".

Then one by one the friends seemed to stop calling. No more clubs or societies, no more teas or parties, all the things Mum had paid such an active part in just dried up. Just at the time Mum most needed support and stimulation it was pulled from under her feet.

Now I`m not blaming in any way the individuals involved here, I feel that we need a much better education as to what dementia actually involves. Its not the end of the world, its not even the end of the road and its certainly its not the end of the person. Dementia is not something to fear. If she had cancer, epilepsy, MS, parkinsons or any one of a number of illnesses she would still be welcomed by most of these groups and still be able to play an active part in society.

I`m not sure if its the word dementia or the affliction itself that scares people, but please if a friend or relative should be diagnosed don't abandon all hope and even more don't abandon the person,  that person you once knew is still in there and a lot more frustrated than you with their condition. Have a little patience, it will go a long way and reap massive rewards.




Sorry, rant over for now.


And a quick name check for Ken, the lovely old gentleman. Thinking of you as you have always thought of Mum.