Wednesday, 24 August 2011

The eyes have it


Cant believe its been a whole week since I last posted anything.... Somehow manage to get a few people willing to read this then get lazy....

Strange old day Monday. Mum busy with her deforestation plans so I popped out for an hour or two. On my return I find mum very distressed with one very red eye. With my limited first aid training inspect the eye but see nothing so its off to Kettering A&E.

Kettering, for those of you from distant parts, is not an action usually carried out behind closed doors but a town in Northamptonshire with a population of around 50000. If the menagerie that greeted us in A&E on a monday night was representative of its population then God help us all.

Queue for 20 minutes to be met by a semi tame gorilla in a bulletproof glass enclosure very cleverly designed to transfer no sound at all in either direction. Manage to convey mums details and symptoms through the medium of modern dance and get directed to "sitoverthereandwait".

Another aeon passes and we are summoned by the triage nurse and things look up for at least one minute. She is wonderful, apologises for the delays, gives mum some drops to kill the pain and says we should be seen with in an hour.

Or two.

Or three

Manage to squeeze mum and me into a couple of seats between several pregnant behemoths and a horde of dribbling toothless extras from the film "Deliverance II, you gonna get a good kettering." Within seconds I am engaged in conversation by a greasy hermaphrodite wearing a three wolf moon shirt who very kindly and vociferously explains the virtues of having so many offspring . Oh joy....

Luckily the drops administered have kicked in so at least mum is no pain. We sit and we wait

and we wait

and we wait

Three hours later  we are ushered into the "eye room"  and we are informed  "the doctor will be with you soon" so we sit in the new room and look around and we wait

and we wait

Particulary struck by how dirty the room is and how many times staff casually stroll in and out seemingly at random....

and we wait

Doc arrives he`s absolutely brilliant. God knows how young he is, I`m pretty sure I have socks older than him. He`s very very good with mum, no idea how he manages to look so happy.  More drops, a good poking round and the offending article is removed. Eye patch fitted  its back out to brave the zombie lobby. Mum feels the need  to do a little dance and point at people but we manage to escape unscathed. Finally back to the car and home.

Might have to rethink how long I can leave mum on her own?

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