As the temperature drops so the central heating battle begins....
As soon as the leaves start leaving the trees Mum starts to feel a little cold indoors.
First step is to break out the winter quilt.
Lovely and warm, thank you.
Then find a jumper or two and convince her to wear them.
Oh thats much better, thank you
Convince her to stop wearing sandals and try shoes and socks.
Thats lovely, thankyou.
We manage to achieve the gradual change from summer to winter relatively smoothly till the inevitable happens......The heating has to go on.
This causes a real problem. If the radiators are cold then so is Mum.
No matter what the ambient temperature may be, one touch of a cold radiator and in her mind the house is at sub-zero.
The thermostat is now set to gas mark 9. We cannot leave the toilet seats up as the water evaporates and causes clouds over the landing and toilet duck rain to cascade down the stairs. Eggs can be fried on the kitchen worktops and at night the house has a cheery glow reminiscent of the old ready brek adverts.
Roll on spring for "Ooooh its a little warm isnt it?"
Friday, 28 October 2011
Wednesday, 26 October 2011
Things are picking up..
Another weekend away!
The evening do for Sarah's niece`s wedding. Fabia up to granny and doggysit so we can stay in St Neots for the night and enjoy ourselves. Cracking do. Lucy looked stunning and Spen didn't scrub up too bad either.
Back home Sunday pm after a huge breakfast at the cafe on Market Square. Best one for miles.
Have noticed that mornings can be a little difficult with Mum at the moment. She has always been an early riser but she seems to be taking longer and longer to get going. Physically she is fine but sometimes the brain doesn't catch up till lunch time. Best to leave her to it as she can be a little tetchy till she gets going.
Note to self: Must clean up after dog in garden immediately EVERY time.
Caught mum picking up after the dog, a job she would quite happily carry out, even having a special trowel kept to one side. Now she has decided its easier tackled by hand. Hands scrubbed with various hand washes before her lunchtime sandwich then. Things like this cannot be explained, she does not see it as a bad thing. Needs to be cleared up, pick it up and put it in a bag.
We spent several months trying to wean Mum off carrying her bag everywhere with her. As I have mentioned before The Bag contains several pens, 3 complete sets of keys, several phone books all containing the same numbers and a huge wad of paper tissues. It seemed that every time she left it anywhere is was causing so much distress that it would be easier for her not to carry it all.
After several weeks of gentle persuasion, subterfuge and downright bullying she became quite happy to know that it was in a safe place in her bedrooom. Now disaster has struck.
New pair of glasses.
Hmmmmm I need somewhere safe to keep those...I know..The Bag. Back to square one.
The evening do for Sarah's niece`s wedding. Fabia up to granny and doggysit so we can stay in St Neots for the night and enjoy ourselves. Cracking do. Lucy looked stunning and Spen didn't scrub up too bad either.
Back home Sunday pm after a huge breakfast at the cafe on Market Square. Best one for miles.
Have noticed that mornings can be a little difficult with Mum at the moment. She has always been an early riser but she seems to be taking longer and longer to get going. Physically she is fine but sometimes the brain doesn't catch up till lunch time. Best to leave her to it as she can be a little tetchy till she gets going.
Note to self: Must clean up after dog in garden immediately EVERY time.
Caught mum picking up after the dog, a job she would quite happily carry out, even having a special trowel kept to one side. Now she has decided its easier tackled by hand. Hands scrubbed with various hand washes before her lunchtime sandwich then. Things like this cannot be explained, she does not see it as a bad thing. Needs to be cleared up, pick it up and put it in a bag.
We spent several months trying to wean Mum off carrying her bag everywhere with her. As I have mentioned before The Bag contains several pens, 3 complete sets of keys, several phone books all containing the same numbers and a huge wad of paper tissues. It seemed that every time she left it anywhere is was causing so much distress that it would be easier for her not to carry it all.
After several weeks of gentle persuasion, subterfuge and downright bullying she became quite happy to know that it was in a safe place in her bedrooom. Now disaster has struck.
New pair of glasses.
Hmmmmm I need somewhere safe to keep those...I know..The Bag. Back to square one.
Saturday, 22 October 2011
Help still needed..
Mums back from Fabias, did a little gardening while she was there. Under strict instructions and surveillance Fabia allows a little pruning around the Rose and Buddlea. Turns her back for a second and snip snip snip down go the raspberry bushes. No Jam next year then.
Busy week up and down to the hospital to visit the nice gentleman, think the visits are as good for mum as him. Harborough`s old lady network seems to have mobilised itself to his aid, visiting, washing bringing fruit etc. something that makes me feel good and bad at he same time. There was none of this help forthcoming when mum started showing the first signs of dementia, seems the big C is on the acceptable illness list whereas The big D is not.
For some reason on our hols I decided to grow a beard which has been met with a mixed response, mostly favourable. Over breakfast Mum seemed to be fascinated with it, couldn't take her eyes of it for a good while, till finally telling me "you look like a Jew." Still not too sure how to take this.
In further news the website is coming together slowly but surely. Quite touched by the number of people willing to offer help. Still need bloggers, tweeters and facebookers etc. whose lives have been touched in any way by dementia and fancy a bit of free promotion for their ramblings. Get in touch on Facebook, Twitter or leave a message on here.
Just to clarify a question I have been asked the site is in no way intended as a money making affair, just some where for us to hang out and hopefully raise a little awareness of Dementia and ways to cope as a carer.
Busy week up and down to the hospital to visit the nice gentleman, think the visits are as good for mum as him. Harborough`s old lady network seems to have mobilised itself to his aid, visiting, washing bringing fruit etc. something that makes me feel good and bad at he same time. There was none of this help forthcoming when mum started showing the first signs of dementia, seems the big C is on the acceptable illness list whereas The big D is not.
For some reason on our hols I decided to grow a beard which has been met with a mixed response, mostly favourable. Over breakfast Mum seemed to be fascinated with it, couldn't take her eyes of it for a good while, till finally telling me "you look like a Jew." Still not too sure how to take this.
In further news the website is coming together slowly but surely. Quite touched by the number of people willing to offer help. Still need bloggers, tweeters and facebookers etc. whose lives have been touched in any way by dementia and fancy a bit of free promotion for their ramblings. Get in touch on Facebook, Twitter or leave a message on here.
Just to clarify a question I have been asked the site is in no way intended as a money making affair, just some where for us to hang out and hopefully raise a little awareness of Dementia and ways to cope as a carer.
Monday, 17 October 2011
The cat`s away...
Mum still away. Last night we listened to music really loud and didnt do the dishes before we went to bed. Anarchy.
Today Sarah has a day off so we will venture out.
First stop Birmingham airport to drop off friends on their way to Spain, the head off to Stratford upon Avon, the home of the Bard.
A visit to Anne Hathaways cottage. First stop Tea rooms for refreshments then over the road to the cottage itself.
A walk round the gardens first, the newly created Woodland Walk is very attractive and the trees seem very happy to be taking part in the tour.
Today Sarah has a day off so we will venture out.
First stop Birmingham airport to drop off friends on their way to Spain, the head off to Stratford upon Avon, the home of the Bard.
A visit to Anne Hathaways cottage. First stop Tea rooms for refreshments then over the road to the cottage itself.
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| Quite a big "cottage" really. |
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| Happy tree |
A quick walk round the cottage garden where we discovered this strange potato pheasant hybrid.
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| Hybrid |
Then onwards to the house itself. It is a day out that I can genuinely recommend. The guides are very knowledgeable and manage to impart the history in an entertaining way without too much dumbing down, yet still pass on some passion about the cottage.
Wont go into too many details of the history of the place but suffice to say parts of it date back to the 14th century, there are still pieces of furniture that date back to Shakespeare's days and the Hathaway family still inhabited the house until the early 1900`s.
They didn`t get round to the new Kitchen that Anne always wanted but the exposed floorboards in the bedroom were a stylish addition to the four poster.
In other news Mums back tomorrow night, hopefully Fabias garden is still intact.
Plans for the website are progressing well, generous offers of help coming in. Think I may have some hosting sorted out so I may actually have something online in a week or so, but don`t hold me to that!
Any ideas for content, hints tips and tricks still most welcome.
Saturday, 15 October 2011
A Call for help.
Tomorrow we pack Mum and her two overnight bags up and drive to Kings Lynn. She`s off to Fabias for a couple of days again. Hopefully all sharp objects and garden implements are well hidden.
This gives me a couple of days to work on a little project I have been thinking about for a long time.
I am now the proud owner of www.dementiacarer.co.uk and www.dementiacarer.com both of which direct you to this blog at the moment. I intend to build an initially small website as a bit of a resource for people caring for dementia sufferers.
There are quite a few sites devoted to this kind of subject already but I would like this to be a little different. I intend to concentrate on the positive side of caring. Hopefully show that taking on the role of full time carer does not need to be a totally bad thing.
Hopefully the first incarnation will have links to carers blogs, a forum and a page or two of editorial supplied by the bloggers who wish to participate.
Any other bloggers/tweeters/facebookers etc in any way interested in trying to get this off the ground please get in touch by email , twitter , facebook or leave a comment on here.
Any help would be much appreciated, design/hosting etc. as its all a bit of a grey area to me.
Watch this space for updates, pleas for assistance etc.
This gives me a couple of days to work on a little project I have been thinking about for a long time.
I am now the proud owner of www.dementiacarer.co.uk and www.dementiacarer.com both of which direct you to this blog at the moment. I intend to build an initially small website as a bit of a resource for people caring for dementia sufferers.
There are quite a few sites devoted to this kind of subject already but I would like this to be a little different. I intend to concentrate on the positive side of caring. Hopefully show that taking on the role of full time carer does not need to be a totally bad thing.
Hopefully the first incarnation will have links to carers blogs, a forum and a page or two of editorial supplied by the bloggers who wish to participate.
Any other bloggers/tweeters/facebookers etc in any way interested in trying to get this off the ground please get in touch by email , twitter , facebook or leave a comment on here.
Any help would be much appreciated, design/hosting etc. as its all a bit of a grey area to me.
Watch this space for updates, pleas for assistance etc.
Thursday, 13 October 2011
Slow
Funny really.
Being here full time you don`t notice the changes, just adapt as you go on.
Its only recently I have really thought about this, wondering where the day goes.
An example.
Car journeys. Mum seems to understand that a trip in the car has several steps
Every operation can be broken up into steps like this and seems to cause similar problems. Mum can see the destination she wants to reach, be it getting in the car, getting dressed even constructing a sentence but the route there involves many steps that need to be put into order.
All these things mean that you have to learn to live your life at a much slower pace, and learn to be very very patient.
Which in itself is not such a bad thing.
Being here full time you don`t notice the changes, just adapt as you go on.
Its only recently I have really thought about this, wondering where the day goes.
An example.
Car journeys. Mum seems to understand that a trip in the car has several steps
- Open door
- Get in
- Close door
- Pull seat belt over shoulder
- Plug seat belt in
- Travel to destination
- Press red button on seat belt
- Put seat belt behind shoulder
- Open door
- Get out
Every operation can be broken up into steps like this and seems to cause similar problems. Mum can see the destination she wants to reach, be it getting in the car, getting dressed even constructing a sentence but the route there involves many steps that need to be put into order.
All these things mean that you have to learn to live your life at a much slower pace, and learn to be very very patient.
Which in itself is not such a bad thing.
Sunday, 9 October 2011
Toothpaste.
As the weather has turned to proper Autumn Mums focus has shifted from the garden to inside. One of her latest obsessions is putting things away. Leave anything unattended and it will end up in a cupboard somewhere, anywhere. Trying to prepare tea tonight and put a knife down for a second and its back in the rack, dishes and ingredients vanishing left right and centre. I am sure she possesses ninja like powers as she zooms round tidying and organising. Luckily the Archers came on as I served up, the one thing that is still sacred and not to be missed. Extremely tasty free range chicken with roast veg and sweet potato followed by home made apple crumble and custard. While mum sleeps that lot off time to relocate knives, forks, implements etc and check the cupboards for dirty dishes.
Sarah had a job this morning sorting through the toiletries and lotions and potions in mums bathroom and bedroom as we discovered she has been moisturising with shower gel for god knows how long, just a good job we haven't been out in the rain too much, visions of Mum covered head to toe in bubbles....
We also located more missing toothpaste.... this was one of the first signs that she wasnt just a dotty old lady and there were other problems, toothpaste would keep disappearing from the bathrooms. I just kept buying it thinking I was going a little mad until it we came to reorganise mums room for new wardrobes. Toothpaste. Tubes and tubes of it. So now you now where the title of this blog originates...shopping list..... tea, coffee, milk, we need toothpaste....
Sarah had a job this morning sorting through the toiletries and lotions and potions in mums bathroom and bedroom as we discovered she has been moisturising with shower gel for god knows how long, just a good job we haven't been out in the rain too much, visions of Mum covered head to toe in bubbles....
We also located more missing toothpaste.... this was one of the first signs that she wasnt just a dotty old lady and there were other problems, toothpaste would keep disappearing from the bathrooms. I just kept buying it thinking I was going a little mad until it we came to reorganise mums room for new wardrobes. Toothpaste. Tubes and tubes of it. So now you now where the title of this blog originates...shopping list..... tea, coffee, milk, we need toothpaste....
Saturday, 8 October 2011
In need of a little rant.
Feel in need of a little rant.
Been out for tea tonight, very nice pub grub in the Cherry Tree to celebrate the fact that we all have new hair courtesy of a celebrity hairdresser.
On the way home mum points out one or two houses which sets me off thinking. The houses are the homes of people who were once Mums friends, a fact that starts to rankle a little as we walk home.
When I first moved down here to look after Mum she still had a fair old circle of friends and acquaintances in Harborough both socially and through the "U3A". Most of them seemed happy to involve Mum as a slightly eccentric or even dotty old lady, she was still definitely "in the circle", regular phone calls and invites etc.
Then came the diagnosis, and gradually the friends disappeared. First it was the official line from U3A, an organisation aimed essentially at the elderly, that Mum wasn't welcome on any more trips as she was "a liability".
Then one by one the friends seemed to stop calling. No more clubs or societies, no more teas or parties, all the things Mum had paid such an active part in just dried up. Just at the time Mum most needed support and stimulation it was pulled from under her feet.
Now I`m not blaming in any way the individuals involved here, I feel that we need a much better education as to what dementia actually involves. Its not the end of the world, its not even the end of the road and its certainly its not the end of the person. Dementia is not something to fear. If she had cancer, epilepsy, MS, parkinsons or any one of a number of illnesses she would still be welcomed by most of these groups and still be able to play an active part in society.
I`m not sure if its the word dementia or the affliction itself that scares people, but please if a friend or relative should be diagnosed don't abandon all hope and even more don't abandon the person, that person you once knew is still in there and a lot more frustrated than you with their condition. Have a little patience, it will go a long way and reap massive rewards.
Sorry, rant over for now.
And a quick name check for Ken, the lovely old gentleman. Thinking of you as you have always thought of Mum.
Been out for tea tonight, very nice pub grub in the Cherry Tree to celebrate the fact that we all have new hair courtesy of a celebrity hairdresser.
On the way home mum points out one or two houses which sets me off thinking. The houses are the homes of people who were once Mums friends, a fact that starts to rankle a little as we walk home.
When I first moved down here to look after Mum she still had a fair old circle of friends and acquaintances in Harborough both socially and through the "U3A". Most of them seemed happy to involve Mum as a slightly eccentric or even dotty old lady, she was still definitely "in the circle", regular phone calls and invites etc.
Then came the diagnosis, and gradually the friends disappeared. First it was the official line from U3A, an organisation aimed essentially at the elderly, that Mum wasn't welcome on any more trips as she was "a liability".
Then one by one the friends seemed to stop calling. No more clubs or societies, no more teas or parties, all the things Mum had paid such an active part in just dried up. Just at the time Mum most needed support and stimulation it was pulled from under her feet.
Now I`m not blaming in any way the individuals involved here, I feel that we need a much better education as to what dementia actually involves. Its not the end of the world, its not even the end of the road and its certainly its not the end of the person. Dementia is not something to fear. If she had cancer, epilepsy, MS, parkinsons or any one of a number of illnesses she would still be welcomed by most of these groups and still be able to play an active part in society.
I`m not sure if its the word dementia or the affliction itself that scares people, but please if a friend or relative should be diagnosed don't abandon all hope and even more don't abandon the person, that person you once knew is still in there and a lot more frustrated than you with their condition. Have a little patience, it will go a long way and reap massive rewards.
Sorry, rant over for now.
And a quick name check for Ken, the lovely old gentleman. Thinking of you as you have always thought of Mum.
Last of the photos
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| Dramatic skyline over Bala Lake. |
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| Isis and Davy Jones locker. Pivotal locations in our youth! |
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| The Chapel. Scene of many childhood and teenage holidays. |
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| Mum and me in New Quay |
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| New Quay. |
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| Cwmtydu bay. |
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| Helllooooo! |
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| Quite proud of this one, better than the stepping stones I think. |
Thursday, 6 October 2011
Dorchester pics
Dorchester
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| The blogger, blogging |
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| Mum Isaac and Mary |
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| In the grounds at Damos place. |
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| Dick o th banks road. Snapper now owns the garden |
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| View from the top of Portland. Always stunning |
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| Old fort, now a prison |
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| Now if only I had my secateurs.... |
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| Buggers tied my hands behind my back. |
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| If only I could escape... |
Three peaks pics.
Three Peaks Caravan site.
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| The view from the caravan |
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| From the van again, tide coming in. |
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| The site. Our van is first on left. |
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| Stepping stones |
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| Mum and Sarah at the bottom of the cliff |
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| The Bay. |
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| Mum and some weirdo in a hat after the ascent |
Houdini
Settled back in at home now and back to the old routines. Wheely dog not too good of late, leg muscles seem to be wasting a little. Think she may have to go back on the wheels for a bit.
Younger sis, Fabia was up as usual tuesday, took mum out for a drive and lunch then hauled her in and managed to descale her feet and remove the talons. New shoes in order then, comes the rather delicate operation of removing then disposing of the old ones. Landfill not an option nowadays with toxic waste so may need to attempt burial at sea.
The nice old gentleman, Ken, is still in hospital and having more tests. Taken mum to visit every day so far, think its good for both of them. Kettering hospital must have a very cheap canteen judging by the size of the staff.
Mum out with respite care this morning so treat myself to a trip round the farmers market. some lovely looking 21 day hung beef, loads of fresh veg and a couple of really nice looking pies and its off home. Beef in red wine tonight then, with dumplings of course.
Think we may have to invest in a few new clothes as Mum can no longer manage zips, unless they are started for her. We also seem to be experiencing a bit of seat belt mutiny. On the way to visit Ken there were complaints, "Its strangling me" "Help me". Had to pull into layby to rearrange, this is happening nearly every journey now, seated in the back she has been known to escape the belt completely. Not too sure how to address this one yet.
More in a bit.....
Younger sis, Fabia was up as usual tuesday, took mum out for a drive and lunch then hauled her in and managed to descale her feet and remove the talons. New shoes in order then, comes the rather delicate operation of removing then disposing of the old ones. Landfill not an option nowadays with toxic waste so may need to attempt burial at sea.
The nice old gentleman, Ken, is still in hospital and having more tests. Taken mum to visit every day so far, think its good for both of them. Kettering hospital must have a very cheap canteen judging by the size of the staff.
Mum out with respite care this morning so treat myself to a trip round the farmers market. some lovely looking 21 day hung beef, loads of fresh veg and a couple of really nice looking pies and its off home. Beef in red wine tonight then, with dumplings of course.
Think we may have to invest in a few new clothes as Mum can no longer manage zips, unless they are started for her. We also seem to be experiencing a bit of seat belt mutiny. On the way to visit Ken there were complaints, "Its strangling me" "Help me". Had to pull into layby to rearrange, this is happening nearly every journey now, seated in the back she has been known to escape the belt completely. Not too sure how to address this one yet.
More in a bit.....
Monday, 3 October 2011
Day 14- the journey home.
Day 14 Farnham to home 120 miles
OK its a day late but we`ve been busy.
Had another "wandering mum" incident in the van. Up and down muttering around 3.00 am. Managed to steer her back to bed, think it may be sleepwalking but hard to tell.
Julia, Ian and the boy Jesus came over to the caravan for breckie. Mumford busy wrangling a crocodilian. Bacon and the last of Tori`s excellent bread with lashings of tea and coffee.
Hitched up, farewells said and on the road for midday. Decide to chance the M3/M25 route and no satnav as I know best and we just want to get home now. For once this is the right decision and we are home in under three hours. Not bad with the caravan, and my navigation.
Mum starting to get excited about a reunion with her special friend, the lovely old gentleman mentioned here but turns out he has been admitted to hospital for observations. After conversations with his son find out we can visit tomorrow so instead shes off to reaquaint herself with the garden, and plan her next line of attack.
All in all a very succcessful holiday. Must admit there were doubts about setting off in a caravan for two weeks with a wobbly dog, an even wobblier mother in a car driven by a slightly eccentric hippy who`s sole intention was to grow a beard, but we did it. Somehow the whole lot was held together by the yogic influence of the lovely Sarah. A round of applause please.
Oh, I did manage the beard.
OK its a day late but we`ve been busy.
Had another "wandering mum" incident in the van. Up and down muttering around 3.00 am. Managed to steer her back to bed, think it may be sleepwalking but hard to tell.
Julia, Ian and the boy Jesus came over to the caravan for breckie. Mumford busy wrangling a crocodilian. Bacon and the last of Tori`s excellent bread with lashings of tea and coffee.
Hitched up, farewells said and on the road for midday. Decide to chance the M3/M25 route and no satnav as I know best and we just want to get home now. For once this is the right decision and we are home in under three hours. Not bad with the caravan, and my navigation.
Mum starting to get excited about a reunion with her special friend, the lovely old gentleman mentioned here but turns out he has been admitted to hospital for observations. After conversations with his son find out we can visit tomorrow so instead shes off to reaquaint herself with the garden, and plan her next line of attack.
All in all a very succcessful holiday. Must admit there were doubts about setting off in a caravan for two weeks with a wobbly dog, an even wobblier mother in a car driven by a slightly eccentric hippy who`s sole intention was to grow a beard, but we did it. Somehow the whole lot was held together by the yogic influence of the lovely Sarah. A round of applause please.
Oh, I did manage the beard.
Saturday, 1 October 2011
Day 13
Day 13 Abbots Shingle CL Farnham
Sausages and Tori`s excellent home made bread,tea and coffee.
Cant believe I was kept awake till midnight last night by appalling karaoke renditions of Angels and Mustang Sally etc. Must have been a party at one of the local mansions but just seemed a little bizarre in these surroundings.
Met the owner of the site today, proper eccentric. Owns a good few acres of woodland in the Surrey Hills area of outstanding natural beauty but looks like he hasnt got two pennies to rub together. Nice guy, if a little talkative.
Depart for Julias and then walk into Farnham for the food festival. Interesting mix of "local" Indian Chinese and Thai food cohabiting with £mega jars of chutney and Jam. Scratch the surface and its quite interesting though, purchased some tasty looking micro brews for consumption later, hog roast and ostrich burgers for lunch, English made chorizo sounds interesting but had sold out. Picked up some spelt flour from a man with a very satisfying beard to experiment with too. The flour that is not his beard.
Julia forced us to walk the entire length of Farnham to see an imaginary hot air balloon, Mum a little hot and bothered so had to walk back to get the car to pick her up. Thank god for air-con thats all I can say.
Another lovely tea served up by Julia, home made meatballs with all the trimmings, seems to have brought Mum round ok. Sit and watch the havoc as she tries to prepare two teenage boys for the parties they are attending "I did tell you it was fancy dress" and "I did tell you I needed a birthday present". After waving goodbye to Jesus and one of Mumford & sons we return for our last night in the caravan.
Hard to believe two weeks have gone by already. Three hour drive home then its all over.Will have the final holiday blog entry with the rest of the pics tomorrow night all being well then its back to "normal"
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